Living A Life That Is "Good On Paper"
You've had hard-won accomplishments and success; by all accounts you are on the Dean's List of life. An outside observer would say you "have it all." So where is the happy?
Most of the time we are grading our lives based on someone else's rubric. That's why we feel like we are doing everything "right" but still can't shake that unfulfilled feeling.
Where Does That Rubric Come From?
That rubric is the compilation of the various influences in our lives: school, culture, media, etc. Over time we are presented with what is "right" or what we "should" be doing to such a degree that we internalize those things as our own and live them as fact.
They operate as lenses from which we view the world and serve as the criteria we grade ourselves on. They are the reasons that when confronted with that unhappy feeling our only response is to strive for more of what we were chasing in the first place; we don't even consider chasing other things.
Different, Not Better
Through the coaching process, the goal is to catch your "shoulds" in action to determine if they are your own and whether or not they serve you. If they do not, I help people change their hardwiring to live in a more authentic way.
Doing "better" leaves you stranded along the same axis you started the process on, facing the same problems and struggles. I emphasize doing things differently, not better, because those pivots in perception give you the opportunity to change your relationship to the world and who you want to be in it.
So often we set our sights on some possession or accomplishment and say "If only I had X" then I would feel the way I want. However, little do we realize that we are essentially hitching our happiness to some distant point in the future. Oftentimes this point may be unrealistic or built off of our conception of what is "right."
The coaching program focuses on helping you decide and become who you want to be. Of course you want to do and have certain things. However, the emphasis is on you living your authentic self and grading yourself off of your own rubric. The doing and having comes as a result of that.